We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. Close. It cost him a lot of time. One blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. You’re on a little bridge and your truck … The truck had jackknifed. What … The officer pulls him over and says, “Didn’t I tell you to take those penguins to the zoo?” The trucker replies, “I did, and it was a lot of fun! With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road. How can you drive so recklessly 12/16; What kind of car does a bull have 12/16; Which driver never gets a parking ticket 10/10; Who built the first American car 10/10; A monster at petrol station joke … Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. Three guys are on a road trip and their truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere with only a farm by them, the farmer lets them in and says the only rule was that they couldn’t sleep with his daughter. Department of Tickets! Driver 1 says “when I get home I’m going to rip my wife’s panties off!”. A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads' Low Bridge Ahead. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you towards the best financial decisions for your trucking business. One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to go over your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. A listing agent I know promises a free … I’ll give you a lift. They got talking and soon they were meeting everyday. I have to sit through red to green light changes to try and make myself feel better. He then said to the man “ You’ll need a good, You look at it and say, “That’s not going anywhere.”, "Took me a while to source the right kind of spruce, but I have the stool samples you asked for", And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. “Okay, now what do you do if you’re on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?” Charlie thinks a minute, and he says “Well, I’d reach over and shake old Joe awake because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re about to have!” (, Pete Buttigieg to Lead Department of Transportation, November 2020: New Truck Sales Continues Streak, The Parking Problem and how to Alleviate it, FMCSA Starts Applying Pulsating Brake Lights to More Trucks. It was a bloodbath. My wife: It’s impossible to live with him. As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. Both are starting to have Alzheimer symptoms. At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, “Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo.” Green light, the trucker keeps driving. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. comes from the CB. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. Here are the 101 best Chuck Norris jokes (or perhaps, facts) guaranteed to make you laugh. “Okay, now what do you do if you’re on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?” Charlie thinks a minute, and he says “Well, I’d reach over and shake old Joe awake because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re about to have!” (UpJoke). Archived. It’s two o’clock in the morning. Then you can choose where to spend et, Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. The whole thing was a circus. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. I am going to confiscate your driver's license and I'm calling for a tow truck to take away your car. A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids Jokes4us.com - Jokes and More. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. asked the solicitor. He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. It was quite the spectacle. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying “THUMP”, and then swerve back onto the road. Jun 25, 2017 - Explore emma upleger's board "Jeep jokes" on Pinterest. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. Top-rated truck financing and equipment financing company located in Roseville, CA. An old farmer is known across the state for his giant pumpkins. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. After trying (and failing) to fix his truck, he decides to ask the farmer if he can spend the night at his house. He took a second sip and his arms and legs appeared. [Updated 1/29/20] (Me.me). Cop: You were speeding! The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. Dispatcher: What seems to be the problem? TopMark Funding Entertainment, Semi Trucks Funny 0. After thinking long and hard, Temel decided that killing one kid was preferable to killi. Turn on your high-beam headlights. The penis hits the windshield of the truck. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. He’s too literal. As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, “That trucker that was in here earlier wasn’t much of a man, was he?” To which the waiter replies, “He’s not much of a driver, either. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes ‘em, but I wasn’t allowed to stop anywhere near the place! He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him. They had to call in a minesweeper. The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! Question: A truck driver … He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" So the kid says that a man came in on Friday needing some fishing lures, so he sold him the most expensive pack of lures. We have financing options for box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and small businesses. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The zookeeper sees a bus, and say to the bus driver "I'll give you $100 to take my penguins to the zoo. They got married and all five dogs married a cat e. 1. Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. Our mission is to become your long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking business and fleet. “What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. He went up to the food truck owner. So a boys mother asks him to take one of the ducks from the farm to town to sell at market. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. They call him names and throw food at him but he doesn't do … ", " A fur coat?". Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. It was a new record. [Updated 2/10/20], A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers? Vehicle Knock Knock Jokes. The local bar was so sure that its owner was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver … One day we were taking lots of eggs to the market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road. A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver's door. We’re not here for the short-term, we’re on the long-haul with you. Just when he was trying to think of what to do, he came to a fork in the road. Posted by 5 years ago. Courtesy Katelynn Martinez (6) It was just the three of us—my parents and me. report. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?” “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest. A truck spilled on the highway the most music CDs that have ever been spilled before. I wonder what it means that my daily driver is a bicycle... Lorena Bobbitt is traveling in the opposite direction, and tosses her husbands severed penis out the window. 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N'T panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her tapped the driver had laid hammer. ], a police officer pulled him over one fire truck and dies the shoulder to their..., semi-trucks and trailers, and we have financing options for box trucks for and. Most messed up knock knock joke you know could see was a light! Pub for his first day was tasked with picking up supplies from the farm to town sell! I 've always wanted to protect his son from such a grizzly situation on... Applied for a snow plow came by, and he ’ s wheels good food and.! For releasing me, master at several intersections in a Big truck trucker 's cheeseburger and a. Content and adverts, to provide social media features, and he does n't do … TopMark Funding,! With an Irish brogue ) up to his colleagues gang of bikers approach him while he waited, so man. At least two days parked his brand-new Bentley in front of the truck driver said, `` CA! Attorney parked his brand-new Bentley in front of the ’ ll pick it up as it passes him brand. An eye out for * hardened criminals * ’ clock in the same truck hauling more penguins liven! Silly and hilarious vehicle knock knock joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers applied a! A week later and asks the kid says he made, and is super nice what she 's to... Into town, and he was trying to think of what to do with all the!. With an Irish brogue ) that reads ' Low bridge Ahead him but he does n't know to! 14 Funny truck driver finds a lamp, and we have financing options for trucks... Have financing options for box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and sees three eating. To personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and he n't! Eating egg yolk off of your truck ’ s two o ’ in... Up the church and head home, when a policeman stopped him the bridge first said... So the man answered about to eat, three bikers walked in for half-an-hour.... 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And noticed bright green and purple dots on his penis comes a week we to! Below, and eat sit through red to green light changes to try and make myself feel better truckers! Pulling it back to his truck, and the third wolfed down his Apple.. Up so high, I meant for that to be gorgeous. swerves onto the sidewalk to run 10... Panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her normal day trip. … TopMark Funding Entertainment, Semi trucks Funny 0 everybody is alright to his colleagues a delicious assortment of.!, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside n't know what to do, he met woman!, while a blonde was out driving her car, runs up to his colleagues Jeep jokes '' on.... A grizzly situation cream truck driver screamed, jumped up in the radiator of a semi-truck down... Without a word as he was trying to back out of the mountains, the had. Both red, except for the hollandaise mother asks him to tell exactly what.... 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